A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

“Did You Hear Yes?”

on November 20, 2016

I was at a high school today for an activity for my son…as I looked for the bathroom, I came across the cutout of a person holding a stop sign with the words “Did you hear yes?”…and I paused…I stared…I thought…I became teary-eyed as I read it and reread it. Did you hear yes?

And, the memories flooded back…of my questioning “Does no really mean no?” and “I know I said ‘no’ over and over but I must not have said it forcefully enough…” and “He said I didn’t mean no…he said I wanted it…he must be right” and “I didn’t fight hard enough…if I had fought more he would’ve stopped” and “Stop must not mean no…because he didn’t stop.”

There is so much healing that has occurred in these last 4 1/2 years…I have worked hard with the trauma work…I have accepted it wasn’t my fault…that no means no…and a million other lessons I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy…

Yet…in all my reading about consent…all the memes and short videos teaching about consent, I don’t think I’ve seen it so clearly as “Did you hear yes?”…It doesn’t have to be kicking and screaming and fighting and no upon no upon no upon no and stop…please stop…please…no…

It wasn’t yes.  Did you hear yes? No.


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