standingonmyowntwofeet

A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

The Middle Drawer

on August 26, 2015

I blogged yesterday about “middle drawer’ing” it…and, it’s made me process through what that tends to look like in eating disorder recovery.  There is certainly all or nothing thinking in many (most!) aspects of my life…especially when I’m overwhelmed or struggling.  In the Ed world, it looks like this…

I can 100% do recovery.  I will be a rock star at recovery!  I’ve got this!!!

OR

I will never be “cured”.  I am not able to do this perfectly so I might as well stop now.  I am never going to get this.

All or nothing.  Top vs. bottom drawer thinking.  And so I remind myself of the middle drawers…

You may be off plan now and it’s never too late to get back on track.

Doing recovery means making mistakes…to “do it perfectly” means there will be some slips.

Progress, not perfection.

Meal by meal, snack by snack–you’ll get there.

You ARE doing this.  You are healthier than you’ve ever been before.

The middle drawers are kinder…more compassionate…what I’d naturally tell a friend, but struggle to naturally tell myself.  It’s a world where my inner voice is helpful.  Apparently, it’s the place where recovery happens.

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3 responses to “The Middle Drawer

  1. I feel like this a lot but not related to food anymore. More so it’s about feeling as if I can handle my life and job and feelings and then I feel as if I’m falling apart and can’t do anything right. As long as I stick to my same 10 foods life is good and simple and much like a middle drawer! Hang in there and self compassion sounds easy but I know it’s not. And recovery is kind of good compared to the hell of living in the midst of an ED.

  2. La Quemada says:

    This is a great way to think about it. I have this issue with depression and relapse. When I’m in the pit again, I say to myself, “what’s the use, I always end up here anyway, it must be some unfix-able character flaw, etc.” But I guess it could be more like, “I may have to deal with relapses my entire life; that is a part of the illness. But over time I am building more resilience and more skills to help crawl back out of the pit.”

    Thank you, I’ll remember that middle drawer.

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