standingonmyowntwofeet

A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

My Mind is Wise

on July 23, 2015

In treatment, we use Wise Mind…Wise Mind is the intersecting portions of a Venn diagram.  Emotional Mind is on one side and Rational Mind on the other…the parts that cross over are Wise Mind.  In talking, thinking, working through emotional mind or rational mind and trying to get through wise mind, I’ve been taught and now use (?!?) something called dialectics to join those thoughts, feelings, emotions, challenges so that both parts are true…we join them with an and (and, I often think, say, write, type it as AND which is not shouting…it’s my reminder that both can be true).  My old way of living involved a lot of “But” statements…much of the time, pretending (although I believed it then) that I didn’t have needs and certainly didn’t believe I deserved kindness, love and compassion.  For example: I really feel like I need a night in, but my husband wants to go out–Out we go!  or-I could really use some time to process, but the group needs an answer now…I’ll answer.  And a whole slew of years and years and years of pushing aside my thoughts and feelings in favor for what others needed.

For dialectics, I started practicing with Ed…

I am not hungry AND my mind and body need to be nourished.  (Both parts are true and I am honoring each by joining  with an and)

I feel that meal plan is making me fat AND I know that my weight is being monitored and it is not much different.

I don’t have food handy to meet meal plan AND I can make a grocery trip to get some items that will be helpful.

There are millions of others…AND, it helps me process through and find where I am at…what do I need…what is the next right thing.

I use it with battling PTSD, anxiety, depression, expressing boundaries to others, how I parent…It’s become so much a part of language that I cannot imagine living without this knowledge.

3 weeks into IOP and I have been reminded that I know this skill and so many others…fear was convincing I was relapsing, that all was lost, that I needed to let go of hope…and, IOP is reminding me that I am not alone, that I can comply with meal plan…and, maybe most importantly…the skills are all there…I didn’t unlearn them or forget them…I just needed to remember…I am well on my way…step by step.

Keep fighting, my friends ❤

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5 responses to “My Mind is Wise

  1. emilykatenoren says:

    I like Wise Mind! I’m definitely going to use it.

    • Yes! I learned it in treatment and it’s something we rely heavily on there (along with Dialect Behavioral Therapy-DBT). There are so many skills I have that I can use–and it’s Wise Mind that I turn to first every time (maybe “BREATHE” comes first 😉 ). It helps me recognize the logical/rational parts of my thinking and the emotional parts…and, I love that both can be true and are true. No more apologizing for being sad, happy, giddy, teary, etc. I am allowed to “be”. On the same token, it also allows me to realize that I can make wise choices and not set recovery aside just because I am feeling. Feeling is part of living ❤ Good luck!!!! I am hopeful that it will work well for you!

  2. Lori Lara says:

    Good for you! Yes, keep fighting. You’re worth it. 💗

  3. Thank you, Lori Lara!! I am starting to believe it again…I am deserving and worth recovery…I didn’t realize I’d lost that part…or maybe misplaced it…it wasn’t gone forever…just hidden under guilt, anxiety and fear. ❤

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