A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

Slip, Sliding Away

on December 13, 2013

Oh, how the slips become slides….and, why is it that as I fight Ed and meet plan, other things come up.  I was never a cutter…I can no longer say that.  And, as I try to work on skills, “non-judgmentally” is tough….because berating myself and telling myself how stupid I am for doing this makes more sense.  I’ve isolated from friends, which has me reaching out more to my pastor…who told me that it was too much this last week….which has me doubting myself and God, too…I don’t want to be “too much”.  I also know that he needs to set boundaries that that getting texts and phone calls from me as I am in frantic mode, is not cool.  We’ve talked and will talk some more to find the happy medium…I need that…because, right now I feel lousy for being too much and for bothering him.

Wondering from my other friends who are in recovery…as you gave up Ed or something else as your coping mechanism…did you reach onto something else?  How did you get to the point of using healthy options?  Your wisdom is greatly appreciated.  XOXO!!


7 responses to “Slip, Sliding Away

  1. hellokalykitty says:

    I am very interested in the answers to this question myself. I am working in giving up my maladaptive coping mechanisms but I haven’t found anything healthy to replace them with yet :/. *hugs*. Stay strong and keep going !!!

  2. Valerie says:

    I use to struggle with self harm and the likes, when in recovery from it, I did latch onto other ways to cope. It definitely takes a little while to get the patterns and habits switched over but its possible. Having a good support network is key! I found that even just telling someone I wanted to self harm, was usually enough to make me no longer want to do it.
    I’ve started a blog & fb page to help bring inspiration to those who are in recovery, check it out if you like! I also have a page of links and such that may give you more helpful ideas or websites to check out

  3. I definitely fell into unhealthy coping mechanisms as I tried to pull out of the eating disorders. Cutting and other self harm was one of the ways. It’s hard to pin down what led me to using more healthy coping strategies… I know a ton of it was social support. I had a group of people I could go to, so that I wouldn’t overwhelm just one person. I’ve found that cold calms me down. Sometimes, when I want to cut, I’ll go outside and sit in the cold until I am calm again. Usually I know I’m better when I can actually feel the cold, instead of just knowing it’s there. Also, painting helps me. Even if it’s just a dark scribbling mess, it helps to get the anxiety and pressure out. And when I really want to cut, one of the things I do is write or draw on myself, especially in the spot I want to cut. I write positive words that are part of my identity, like “loved” and “forgiven” and “redeemed” and “hope” and “healed” or “healing.” Have you ever heard of the butterfly project? You draw a butterfly where you want to cut, and you can’t cut there until the butterfly is gone. It’s beautiful.
    My prayers go with you. Know that I understand a little of what you face. You’re not alone. ❤

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