A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

The Old Me

on December 5, 2013

would be taking this personally and believing the jabs and digs that are coming my way.  I have healed so that I *know* this isn’t about me, but about a narcissistic ex-boyfriend who owes me money.  Still, I don’t do well with jabs and digs.  And, since I was dealing with a sick 5 year old who had a horrible reaction to strep that had me watching to be sure her airway didn’t close, it makes this difficulty with the ex even more appalling.  I kept trying to remember–I paid the money with the intent that he would pay me back.  He told me he would pay me back.  I have repeated proof in writing that he would pay me back…the full amount.  So, why, on Friday did he decide he wanted to back out?  And how did that become me being difficult.  The old me would take this personally.  The new me knows it’s all about him.


And so…restricting or fasting won’t make me feel better.  Maybe once it did, although, it never really did, did it.  And the nudges of name calling did have me slipping…and yet–my weight has remained the same.  I guess I don’t have anything to prove to Ed….except, I am stronger than he is and ever was.



For as much stress as the ex bf brought this past week with backing out of the debt and parts of the debt and the meanness, a check arrived yesterday….in the full amount.  I guess I can hold my own.  It’s nice to not be heading to court to get this debt paid…as previously mentioned, I hate the courthouse!!!!  I can hold my own!!


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