standingonmyowntwofeet

A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

So, the Courthouse is an Interesting Place

on October 8, 2013

Even typing it makes me cringe.  The stress that comes with each trip I make there, to relive details of rape and the last 1.5 years of stalking, certainly ranks among the most difficult things I have done.  After yesterday’s 3.5 hour visit (because no trips can take less than hours upon hours–maybe it’s to add to the fun), I met with G….in a flood of tears even before I could speak.  There is relief in tears….there is healing….and, G is a good one to work through my tears and tremors and admitting that I restricted breakfast and had fasted since.  It’s always love and care and support and understanding….never judgment…. I see in the warmth of his eyes.  So, we talked….and, apparently, I am not the only one who is anxious and stressed with this court case….with these court visits…this would be how ‘normal’ people feel…so, I will stand tall–walking with an air of confidence that comes in all I have battled before–I will follow through with the hearings and meetings, even though they are uncomfortable.  I will reach out to those who love me and are supporting me, even though much of the details are confidential.  I will keep fighting because I remember what living feels like….and I am not giving up.

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