standingonmyowntwofeet

A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

Old Ed Rules…Possible Trigger Warning

on August 1, 2013

I’ve attempted to make lists before, but I wasn’t far enough in recovery to identify them…in learning how to be healthy and noticing my slips, I am seeing, more clearly, what my Ed behaviors are.

~Ed’s Lies….Lies my old inner voice used to tell me~

Lies, lies, lies……….

~Only use small forks, bowls or plates.

~Do not eat fat

~Do not eat after 8pm

~Do not eat  breakfast

~Chew food x number of times before swallowing

~Cut food into tiny pieces before eating

~Always be 100%, positive and “up”

~Crying is not okay

~Drinking pots of coffee will keep you from being hungry

~Laxatives, diuretics and diet pills are not dangerous

~Drinking 100+ oz of water is not dangerous

~You do not deserve to eat

~Making mistakes is not okay

~Seeing and feeling bones is appropriate.

~Men expect you to do what they say.  There are serious consequences if that is not followed.

~Thighs should not touch.

I made this list in December as an attempt to record ‘old’ rules I had….it was far too triggering for me then…and I left it in my drafts.  8 months later….I can read it and post it….without feeling the need to believe what is listed.  I guess I AM healing.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: