standingonmyowntwofeet

A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

Massage…

on December 12, 2012

I have a massage scheduled for this afternoon…my neck, head and back are needing it. My therapist is a true therapeutic masseuse and I trust him.  He has helped me tremendously–those neck muscles took a beating and were resected during the last brain surgery and my body was so tense coming out of an abusive relationship.  The part that throws me is that the sensory aspect of massage has brought about flashbacks.  My masseuse is aware…as is J (my psychologist).  We know what positions trigger my somatic response.  I am hopeful that staying away from those positions will allow me to enjoy this massage today.  To loosen these sore muscles…and not throw me into painful flashbacks.  A month ago, massage threw me into the most painful and extensive sensory flashbacks…I wanted to claw my way out of my skin…I burned my wrists…I put my face in icy water to try to get them to stop…it was 5-6 hours of sense overload…I want to be okay today. I want to be able to be present and in the moment and to enjoy.

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2 responses to “Massage…

  1. hiddinsight says:

    Enjoy every moment of it!!

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