A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

All-or-Nothing…NOT a good place to be!

on December 10, 2012

The “All-or-Nothing” thinking arrived with a bang…I was incredibly nauseous with breakfast yesterday.  By the time I arrived at church, I was still nauseous…and attempted to distract…until I didn’t…at which point, purging in the church bathroom became the option I chose.  Then I berated.  I planned to skip lunch…but had an email from J asking how breakfast went.  I decided to meet lunch.  Then, started on the runaway train thought process…”You purged at CHURCH!!!!!”  What is the matter with you???”….and so, I missed snack….and was going to skip dinner…I had a headache, I was tired, I was beating myself up.  J and I began to email…and, after freaking because I was out of eggbeaters AND veggie burgers (two of my go-to foods), I was able to *mostly* get dinner in (minus veggies).  It took those emails and looking at my tat…to remind me that recovery is a choice…and all-or-nothing thinking only serves to hurt me.  And, that is no longer a route I want to travel.


2 responses to “All-or-Nothing…NOT a good place to be!

  1. coltgordon says:

    Good word. It is a choice. I have struggled with this myself. Black and White thinking… Thank you for this. I look forward to more.

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