A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

A Good Laugh and a Long Sleep…

on November 13, 2012

An Irish proverb says “A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures for anything.”  I agree.  I will add that a conversation with my pastor, emails with my psychologist and attending a meeting for social justice initiatives in our community also helped.

I awoke rested this morning…*only* one nightmare that had me up at 2:45am in a sweat…but I fell back asleep…and I slept…and I woke up feeling rested.  That is a new feeling and it made me realize how much I needed it.

The “good laugh” will fall into the realm I created called “I was married to an idiot.” (my psychologist and friends will point out “No…you were married to an asshole”…but I don’t use that often–I probably should use it more).  My ex got in the face of my friend a week ago…and what came out of that interaction, is that my ex only eats tacos on the days he does not have our children.  I found out last night from another friend, that it is 6-7 Dorito Loco tacos from Taco Bell each week.  And this is where the laughter started…belly laughter…until my face hurt.  Don’t get me wrong…I appreciate that I have some issues with food…but, really????  Dorito Loco tacos on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Sundays–and alternate weekends?????????  That’s pretty funny!  My psychologist (who also pointed out that, of everything he knows about my ex, this taco piece came as a surprise) tells me this helps to show the controlling, obsessive aspect of my ex.  He is no longer controlling me.  He had found something else to control.

I am continually grateful for the support for friends (and strangers–although, maybe we just haven’t become friends quite yet…)…my psychologist kept up with emailing over the weekend and yesterday to help me through the sensory flashbacks…and, in my tears last night, my pastor helped me get to a place where I am remembering the good in me–which I think is what set the tone for a good night’s sleep.  I reached out to friends…and a couple reached out to me…I used to isolate. ..and pretend I was fine…that everything was fine….I’m not anymore.  To have such a great support group surrounding me, holding me up when I think I might not be able to do much more, hugging me, letting me cry and wiping me tears…it is what makes this possible.  It is what makes healing and recovery possible.  This journey is too difficult to travel on our own.  Thank you for traveling with me.

Fifteen weeks…fifteen weeks into ED treatment…and I am healing my mind, body and spirit.



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