A Journey from Victim to Survivor…to Living Freely

Ridiculous shopping experience!

on October 26, 2012

I worked up the nerve to go look at AND try on clothes today….Big Moment!  I left my psych appointment still teary and then sat outside to get some fresh air.  I left with a new resolve and determination–I was going to attempt clothing…by myself.


Imagine my surprise when I walked into the store and seconds later an altercation broke out….screaming, yelling, flailing…I couldn’t tell if it was a domestic dispute or someone with a phobia…I immediately had my phone in my hand and dialed 9-1-1 (us domestic abuse and PTSD survivors respond quickly to this kind of shit!) –and waited to press send as an employee was already calling.  As the doors were repeatedly manhandled by the woman, the power went out in most of the store.  Turns out the woman was shoplifting…and when she tried to leave and was confronted by store security, she freaked out.  Security had her restrained down to the ground and police were on their way.


And I went on with my mission…chuckling slightly, because, really–it’s gotta be easier to find and try on a pair of pants–that fit!–than it is to be wrestled to the ground in the store entry.  I could do this!!! (find the pants…not shoplift!).  I looked and looked and looked….and found some things that I thought would work…I contemplated just buying them and nixing the whole ‘trying on’ aspect, but I convinced myself I could do it.  Off to the woman’s dressing rooms I went!  Except…the power was still out over there….which, had I not been so determined, would’ve been a fabulous reason NOT to try anything on.  Instead–I trotted off to the men’s dressing room–and, I think the mirrors are slightly better over there!  I tried on clothing without crying…and, although I still don’t really know if things look ‘good’ or not, I decided on a pair of jeans and a fun shrug.


Off to wait in line…because, due to the power issue, the registers were all messed up.  Would’ve been understandable to set the stuff aside and exit the store…but I’d made it this far!  I waited in line and was giggling before I got to the register because it hit me…what a ridiculous shopping experience?!?!?!?!?  However–the distraction was good and I looked for, tried on and bought clothing.


Me-10, ED-ZERO!


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